My "alive day" is coming up. That's the happy term the people here at Walter Reed give the day you got blown to smithereens. I prefer "bomb day".
And while "alive day" sounds so much more like a celebration I don't want to celebrate. Why would I want to make happy on the day a bomb impaled the soldier next to me and changed my life forever?
But as much as I would like to forget the whole thing my body is intent on reminding me. Last night I had the first nightmare I can remember since the bombing a year ago. I dreamed I watched as a humvee got hit by a rocket or RPG. There was a loud, odd sound. It suddenly occured to me that I recognized that sound. I'd heard it somewhere. That's when I shot out of bed with my heart pounding.
It was the sound that MY bomb made as it turned our ASV to mush. While I don't remember my bombing I know my body does.
My therapists and docs also say my body will likely mark the anniversary, whether I want it to or not. They are a little worried I suspect. So am I.
The ATF's evidence vault in el Paso
Photo: Moonpie
Southern Iceland
The Photos (Click on the image above)
The Mississippi Delta Blues
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Adventures in Mongolia
Trying to reach Turgen Mountain (Click the photo)
Montana Glacier National Park and beyond
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Help for Gaza
See story at the link below
The Iraqi Navy
Guarding the country's oil
Dog sledding in Alaska
The Photos (click on the image above)
Lions of the Serengeti
Eastern Afghanistan with U.S. troops
The Photos
Brian Chevalier
Reuters photo (see story link below)
A Kuwait desert rescue drill
Battle for Buritz
Iraqi National Police
Iraqi police graduate from Numiniyah
U.S. Military photo
Col. Michael Garrett, Commander of the 4th Brigade, 25th Infantry Division,on patrol with his soldiers
Flamethrowing Reporter
"Sometimes a full-blown fit just gets things done"--Moonpie
6 comments:
Sounds like your body wants to live. How about you?
Your job is not done and this whole painful experience will be for nothing if you don't use it.
It's up to you.
You will be with friends that love you...
So much has happened to you since that day, and you have given strength and inspiration to those soldiers at WR. You underestimate the power of your presence...
Best of luck with everything. You've made it this far, I KNOW you can handle this!
I am glad that you are having your "Alive Day". The alternative would mean that you would not be here today sharing your amazing spirit and personal experiences with us common folk, as well as those struggling themselves, or struggling to understand. You may yet inspire me to get off my ass and DO something.
I don't have much, but is there anything I can offer to help you/the wounded soldiers out? I am SO very limited.... Music CDs? Homemade cookies? Care package? Anything?
Dear Spockgirl--the greatest gift you can give the guys is to keep them in your thoughts and never forget their sacrifices. That is my biggest worry...that they will be forgotten. They have so many challenges in the years ahead. The war will be history but their injuries will be with them for life. My goal in the future is to volunteer for an organization that helps the disabled. We run into all sorts of issues, from people not understanding the need for assistance dogs to a lack of railings on stairs.
Alive day in New Orleans, can't think of a better place. Stay strong and enjoy the beignets.
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