Tuesday, June 29, 2010


I have had to turn down a trip to the war zone with a high ranking commander. It was to be my first trip back since being bombed. It gave me something to work towards. Every day I wake up, walk and exercise thinking it's making the trip more likely.

Today I had to tell them I just am not there yet.

It's hard. It's embarrassing.

I want to go back. I'm not scared a bit, except for one thing. I fear being a lame-ass, weak journo who can't keep up with the boys. I will never, ever let one of them look at me with pity.

I will go back to Afghanistan. I just have to be patient. I can't go back til I can jump off a helo without being afraid I'll land face down in the sand with my leg still on the bird.


Oldfool said...

Ah, good, your brain is working.
Honest self evaluation is a good sign.
I have no doubt you will go back and you will go back as an asset.

fifi mahoney said...

I know you're disappointed. But your goal remains worthy and do-able. Next time. And there will be a next time.

Marianne said...

Cut yourself some slack, Moonpie. I don't think anyone will perceive you as weak!