Thursday, April 29, 2010

Back in the saddle (and pardon my f*cking language)

You gotta give me some credit. I keep trying. I get back up again, as that Tubthumping song goes...but son of a bitch if I didn't get pissed off today and it's a good thing journalists aren't armed. My horseback riding days are OVER.

I go to the stables, which by the way is an agonizing trip in a mini van with a young female driver speeding, slamming on brakes and swerving through traffic while your wheelchair is flying from one side of the van to the other...it doesn't get much more fun.

Back to the stables..Minnie jumps immediately after I'm on her when a motorcycle roars by. She nearly throws me off. Then again when there is a jet flyover. Funeral. Both times my so-called side guard react AFTER I'VE calmed her and somehow stayed in the saddle.

BECAUSE THEY'RE F*CKING TALKING. It's non-stop chatter. About movies, books, tv shows, girlfrends, etc. I can't hear the horse therapy people. My horse can't hear my commands. The side guards aren't listening to anything other than their own chatter and then one of them nearly takes my OTHER leg off when Minnie sideswipes a F*CKING STEEL POLE. WHILE HE'S F*CKING LEADING HER!!

Able-bodied soldiers. They can't shut the f*ck up for one f*cking hour a week while I ride a god-damned horse. I will never forget one of them telling me his arm was tired. Incredible. I told him he should try getting around with one f*cking leg for a day.

F*CK THEM! And the horse they rode in on!

9 comments:

Tamsin said...

your soldier escorts are idiots, what the hell do they have to complain about? They need a good slap around the head.

Marianne said...

But how do you really feel? Seriously, though, why didn't the horse therapy people tell the guards to shut up and pay attention? I say, throw 'em in the stockade for dereliction of duty. What jerks!

Pull Up A Chair said...

You are surrounded by fucking idiots.

Moonpie said...

I didn't throw a tantrum but I did tell one of the therapy people as I was leaving how angry I was. He was blaming Minnie for my mood. She's a horse. So I told him...why don't you take a closer look at those soldiers who have nothing to do but walk alongside us AND TALK the entire time. Then he admitted he was a little put out them himself.

GatorGirl said...

Withdrawals + horse + inconsiderate men = bad bad day...next time get the horse to work with you and knock them on their asses to see if they like it!

kelli said...

I'm with GatorGirl. Let's teach the horse to kick the escorts. I can imagine that you just felt invisible. I think that's the worst....

heyab said...

To hell with the Pixiw dust! Side guards need a lobotomy.

Don said...

I'm wondering why they don't use mules for that job. My sister has owned horses, mules, donkeys, miniature donkeys,and always used mules to teach her kids to ride, they don't "start" like horses and are not half as stubborn as their reputation. Sorry to hear about your crappy day.

Moonpie said...

My Pappaw used to have a mule, Katie. I fed her watermelon rinds. I loved her. I could spend hours watching her chew those rinds. She loved them.